Day 70-71: Cu Chi Tunnels and War Museum

Day 70 was pretty much a chill out day, not much to write about. Got accosted by the overly aggressive sunglasses an lighter pushers, got swindled over a pair of shorts, met a French kid named Simon, we decide to go to the Cu Chi tunnels tomorrow. Hang out at a cool coffee shop called Highlands, catch up on my internet activity, and that sums it up. Now onto Day 72.

Awake at 7:00am, bed is good but back still aching, really?! Blurgh. Head down to catch up on the scores, ND went down, screws a little with my bracket, but Georgetown losing, really? Had St. Mary's in most, that's good.

Went next door for breakfast, where I could still pick up wifi. Simon met me there. A short man (5'4) sold us the tickets, the man who came to collect us could not of been more than 4'10, which will make much more sense with the tunnels I imagine.

Arrive an hour later, follow the guide, his English is terribly hard to decipher, come to first hole, so small, can a full size man fit in there? An athletic 6'0 guy decides to try, with arms straight up holding the medal roof, he slides underground. Amazing. Hit up a few other tunnels, learn about the thatch roofs made out of leaves that are flame retardant, and then we get to go in. I'm second out of about 20 who dared drop in. They have lights in the tunnel but spread far enough apart that the blackness consumes you whole. The tunnel shrinks in parts, putting you on hands and knees and almost on your belly. We come to a fork, go left or down, we do the smart thing, drop down a level. Proceed another 30 feet, cannot see a thing, someone behind, someone in front, claustrophobia setting in. "Dude, can we go forward? See anymore lights?" Silence. On all fours, can barely turn around. Uh, how many behind you? "I think two maybe three, not sure. Is it hard to breathe?" Yeah. Crawl forward, the only direction I can go, walls are closing in, shoulders are a tight squeeze, turn two more corners and see it, a faint light about 10 feet away. I see light! Hustle down the tunnel, turn the corner, steps leading up, I'm out! Whew! Look around, see the guy who was in front of me, talking to a bunch of th other people on the tour. Where did you guys come from? "Back there about 20 meters at the exit. How did you get here?" Uh, good question.

After being down there and learning that some of the Viet Cong would stay down there for weeks, I understand why they won the war. Their insane. Granted they are a tiny people, most men averaging 5 foot on my approximation, but seriously, 3 weeks? At the end of the tunnels tour, there is a film. Not just any film, but probably the worst, antiquated, propaganda film I've ever laid eyes on, yes, even worse than Michael Moore's 911. here are some of the phrases I happened to catch:

"People come for picnics with such nice village (insert plane sounds and bombing and then show remnants of area), crazy bunch of devils, they fired into women and children, schools, pots and pans."

"All prosperous, came as stampede, those from Washington DC, small girl, dad died, she has hatred for them Americans." (As they show a picture of a woeful little girl with dirt on her face)

"Hatred of US bombs and bullets. Poison bombs, peaceful area, only want to live in peace."

"Enemies hangout. Hero for killing Americans, for killing tanks, Hero of the war."

"Little school girl, sweet and meek, simple, peaceful peasant, sometimes use rifles, sometimes grenades, American killer hero."

"Cu Chi Guerrillas, use traps for animals now for American enemies. Although live in poverty, would not give one inch of land. Rifle in left hand, plow in the right. Fight in the morning, plow in the night."

"Americans want to turn cu chi into dead land, but cu chi want their land, move village underground."

It was so overt I almost laughed out loud a few times. Thankfully the people around me were smirking as well. This might sound wrong, but both Cambodia and Vietnam need help with their war monuments/documentaries. The docs feel like they are from the 70's or early 80's, the sites are interesting but not compelling. They need a writer to come in with an opinion to capture moments, not just give facts or obvious propaganda, but pull the heart strings, just my humble opinion.

The bus dropped us off at the War Museum, the photos did pull at your heart strings. I'm sure the atrocities they laid upon our US soldiers were just a horrific, but man alive, this is sad. Agent Orange with Dioxin (sp?) was some seriously messed up stuff. Not only does it kill at the moment, it leaves it's marks upon the land and generations to come. I know it was war, but if we could do it again knowing what we know, do you think we'd use the same chemical warfare? I would hope not.

Meet up with Simon, book sleeper bus with Sinh Cafe Travel to Nha Trang, then head to Pho 2000 because in Simon's Lonely Planet it says Clinton ate there in 2000. Happens to be right next to the night market, I spy another pair of fake A&F type shorts, ask how much. "100, those 170." Why do these cost 170, aren't they the same. "No, not same. See button, see logo, see pull. This one real." To be fair, none of them are real, you're saying this is a better made fake? "No, real." Yeah right. Barter a bit, I want them, pay 150,000 dong, about $7.50, score! Spot another pair I dig, unfortunately the largest size on location is XL and I'm clearly and XXL if not XXXL. Not too good on the ego to be compared to tiny Vietnamese sizes. She's going to bring some in my size tomorrow.

Round the corner, reach Pho 2000, eat pho chicken noodle, put way too many hot peppers in, suck down my tiny ice tea portion, sweating bullets. No tissues or napkins to be found, only a sealed wet wipe. Use wet wipe #1, wipe face, blow nose, ask for another, finish meal, wipe face again, blow nose. Grab one last one for good measure. Meal was delish. Bill comes, charged for ice in my iced tea, and for 3 wet napkins. So that's their game, provide no normal napkins/tissues, and then over charge on the wet wipes. Gotta give them credit, squeeze those nickels out of us westerners, smart.

We decide to hit up a club, it's Friday night, dressed as a backpacker, shorts, flip flops. Get to Apocalypse Now, turned from the door, apparently they have a dress code only enforced on weekends. Bummer. Check out another place, Q Bar, overpriced and not much going on. I call it a night and head back to Ly Ly's.

Nite nite gang, iPhone Blogger out.