Day 56: Koh Tao ... Suspect ferry & Dinner on Stilts

Rollo (Max Brannan), Paul (Snake), Andy (no nickname) & I say our farewells to Billy and the clan, but not before the drunk French geriatric, affectionately known as "the drunk" to us, stumbles in. When Full Moon is not in swing, most places are empty, especially hostels, so they will rent a bed cheaply without discernment. While on our moped ride, an older man clearly on a bender rolls into Fubar, Guy the manager gives him a bed. We return to find his stuff scattered but he is absentee and I had fallen asleep before his return. This particular morning before we packed to leave, Bonnie and Paul were having a snuggle, when our French friend strolls in still on the drink. He makes a few random comments, apologizes about something that happened last night ... apparently he had accused Snake of stealing his tablets ... and starts to tell Billy that he used to be in AAA. "Have you heard of that?" Billy says, "Uh yeah, it's a hospital or something, right?" Clearly in his condition referencing AA, Alcoholics Anonymous, but Billy in his amazingly naive way, without a clue did not intend to make him feel bad. After a few moments The Drunk sees Snake and Bonnie snuggling, "I'm not prejudice, I'm open minded, I don't care if 2 men share a bed." Bonnie replies, "I'm a woman." "Oh, then shall we shower together?" And with that he made his exit into the shower box. Bonnie declined the generous offer. Shortly after, we caught our taxi to the port for the "fast" ferry to Koh Tao.  

At the dock, though you've bought a ticket, you still have to go to the window so they can stamp it. There we clarify, this is for the fast boat, 1hr and 10 minutes right? "Yeaaa, yeaaaaa", said in a exaggerated nasal way. Big side note about the female Thai accent - no language is unintelligible, but some are more annoying than others, female Thai being one. The men in Thailand just say what they will in short articulate Thai.  The females on the other hand always sound like they are dragging out the last syllable in a nasally whine. Maybe it's how they are taught to speak, maybe in Thai it symbolizes femininity, but from an outside observer, it sounds submissive and a bit of an annoyance. Come visit, you will understand. 

After having our tickets stamped at the SeaTram booth, we sit and wait, shocking, and 30 minutes later they wave us over to a boat that's been in dock since before we arrived. That's strange, why didn't we just get on it to begin with? Everyone piles on and within 15 minutes we know what has happened, they have scammed us. We paid an extra 100 baht for a fast boat, and we're clearly on a slow boat. Our 1 hour 10 min trip turns into just over 3.  

We get off the boat, attempt to have a conversation with a little fat Thai who runs the operation from Koh Tao, trying to get our 100 baht back, mostly out of principle. He continues to be slimy and dismissive and tells us we must talk to home operations in Bangkok. What the what? Do you take money for trips here? "Yes." You have an office here? "Yes." Is this your company on the ticket? "Yes." Then you can give us a refund. "No." Yes you can but you won't. Ok, give us the number of the main office, let's call right now. "I no have, you go to Bangkok." Rollo and I argue like this for a good 15, get nowhere with the pithy little rotund Thai, cut our losses, grab a taxi and head to the southern part of the island ... where accommodations are supposed to be cheaper. Wrong! Cheapest place we could find that slept 4 was at JJ's or JP's or J something resort. We got a tiny room with two full beds, one extremely hard, one extremely soft, hot shower, AC, and satellite tv for 2,000 baht ($60usd). It was worth perhaps a 1000 at best, especially considering the satellite tv played 6 channels, none of them being in English. So far, Koh Tao is not all its been talked up to be. Might be my least favorite island yet. 

Dinner left us with few options. I was determined not to eat where we were staying. I figured I should only bend over once per day and that already happened with the boat scam. If you count the overpriced room, I'm way over quota. We walk along the beach, then traversed a thin concrete bridge without railing about 100m to a restaurant on stilts over the water. The menu looked reasonable and the atmosphere was great, so we popped a squat and settled in for some grub. Started off with an order for 3 milkshakes, twix, mars, and snickers, and one water. The waiter looked at us, asked us to repeat, then looked at the kitchen, then back at us. "Can you do these milkshakes?" he looks at Rollo then back at the kitchen, but no one has appeared. "it's on the menu, right here." Rollo points them out. He looks at Rollo, then the kitchen, still no one there. Does he understand English? What we are saying? Looks back, "Yes", and with that leaves. 30 minutes later it was delivered. An hour after that we had our food, and a good 30 after that the bill surfaced. People were in a cue by the time we left, you would think they'd be a little more efficient to ensure more customers come through. Nope, not in Thailand. It is back to the room, I need to crash. Let's hope tomorrow is more of the Koh Tao I've heard about. 

Nite nite via the iPhone Blogger.